Good news. According to Barack Obama one of the most important books in his oval office will be Team of Rivals, Doris Kearns Goodwin’s biography of Abraham Lincoln. We are in dire need of a transformational leader like Lincoln who will guide us to a renewed sense of our national character. Only then can we restore the country’s status on the world stage and lift ourselves out of the current economic crisis.
Like most transformational leaders Lincoln and Obama blend both masculine and feminine strengths. Both men credit success to their respective mothers who like many women excel at both the soft side and hard side of leading. In his book on transformational leadership Pulitzer Prize winner, presidential biographer and leadership scholar James McGregor Burns wrote, ”As leadership becomes more properly to be seen as a process of leaders engaging and mobilizing the human needs and aspirations of followers, women will be more readily recognized as leaders and men will change their own leadership styles.” Lincoln and Obama learned from such women – their mothers and trusted guides. Today’s leaders can learn as well. First, however, they must know what to aim for, and so we turn to what our 16th and 44th presidents learned from their mothers. Be self-confident yet humble. Be empathic. Manage your own ego while engaging and uplifting others in pursuit of honorable goals.
Nancy Hanks Lincoln
“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln
Nancy (Hanks) Lincoln fostered her son’s humility self-confidence and empathic nature. She also taught him to be a self-disciplined student. That rare combination of self-confidence and humility was evident as Lincoln announced his run for state legislature. “Every man has his particular ambition. I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.” Helen Nicolay, daughter of Lincoln’s private secretary, referred to the president’s empathy as “His crowning gift of political diagnosis …which gave him the power to forecast with uncanny accuracy what his opponents were likely to do.” In one such situation Lincoln sat quietly through a formal discussion among fellow Republicans until near the end when he stood dramatically, threw of his shawl and outlined the next several moves of both parties. When he was done it all seemed so obvious that his peers wondered how they had missed it. Lincoln also employed empathy in his appeal for understanding between north and south. “They are just what we would be in their situation. If slavery did not now exist amongst them, they would not introduce it. If it did now exist amongst us, we should not instantly give it up…I surely will not blame them for not doing what I should not know how to do myself.” Lincoln did not further polarize the two sides by praising one and condemning the other. Instead he illuminated their shared humanity to bridge the gap between them. Nancy Hanks Lincoln taught her son to read and books became his classroom. During the war when one of his generals was failing Lincoln, who never served in the military, read up on military strategy while still mourning the death of his son several weeks prior. Within days the president began directing the armed forces.
S. Anne Soetoro and Grandmother Toots
“[My mother] was the kindest, most generous spirit I have ever known, and that what is best in me I owe to her.” Barack Obama
Barack Obama’s mother S. Anne Soetoro pursued life in foreign cultures and earned a degree in anthropology. From her the president learned to be inclusive and to cross – perhaps transcend – ethnic and racial divides. Anne was known for gathering “unlikely conversation partners” in her home. Her influence is visible in the diversity of the president’s cabinet choices, his inclusion and interest in a broad array of perspectives -inviting even those who oppose his own views, his ability to speak to the universal hopes of a diverse base, and in the mix of people from around the world who welcome his presidency. Anne, like Lincoln’s mother, valued learning and self-discipline. For a period of time she woke young Barack at 4:30 in the morning to study in preparation for returning to school in the U.S. If he complained she was quick to remind him that this was no more pleasant for her than it was for him.
Grandmother Toot, formally known as Madelyn Dunham, was another role model for the president. “She was the cornerstone of our family and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength and humility…Her impact on all of us is meaningful and enduring. Our debt to her is beyond measure.” When her daughter became pregnant unexpectedly Toot found a job as a bank secretary to help with expenses. For many years she tolerated blatant sexism without complaint. Additionally handicapped by the lack of a college education she rose nevertheless to become the first female vice president of the bank. To stay focused on the goal in light of such difficulties requires management of one’s own ego. President Obama has also endured much without complaint while maintaining focus on the goal – as was evident during the presidential campaign. After the election he further proved the ability to manage his ego when he engaged former opponent McCain in a collaborative partnership for the work ahead and appointed Hilary Clinton Secretary of State.
Leading Transformation
Lincoln preserved the union while transforming important aspects of culture and morality. Many hope Obama will realize a similar magnitude of change. To do so requires engaging people in ways that raise both leader and followers to higher levels of aspiration, motivation and morality. This calls for strong relational abilities in addition to the ability to manage oneself and to make difficult decisions.
The persisting leadership crisis in the U.S. suggests that the time is long overdue for trading in the prevailing command and control style for a model that incorporates what Lincoln and Obama learned from their mothers and what many women do so well – to be humble, to empathize, to collaborate, to build bridges and to put one’s ego in service of a greater good. These attributes are crucial for leaders across all sectors if we are to restore the economy and the stature of the U.S. at home and around the world.Perhaps with a president who models these qualities the U.S. will finally make this crucial change to the country’s broader leadership culture. To that end women as mothers, advisors, role models, and leaders have much to offer.