“The female management style is not soft, it’s lucrative.”  Find out what Time magazine says about why women will rule in business.  May 2009. 

Highlights

Women

• Focus on long terms results
• Are collaborators and consensus builders

Companies with more women leaders

• Achieve better financial results
• Reward employees for results not time spent or seniority

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©2010 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Mentoring is among the most effective approaches to professional development and career advancement.

Ask most senior managers and executives what helped them get where they are, and they will probably include a significant mentor.  When new clients talk about the important influences in their lives, they usually include a mentor.  One VP of sales mentioned how his mentor helped him through the unexpected death of his father. 

Women who have male mentors, however, often do not gain the same benefits from these relationships as do their male colleagues.  These findings are reported consistently in a survey[1] that companies use to identify obstacles for women in attaining senior leadership roles.  The assumption that certain topics are not discuss-able or should not have to be discussed is a major impediment to the success of the male mentor female mentee relationship.  First among these topics is whether and how the mentor will open doors to his network.  This happens quite naturally between male-male and female-female mentoring pairs.  It includes an invitation to play golf, attend a sports event, have lunch or a meet after work for a drink.  Such invitations may seem awkward or even forbidden when the mentoring relationship includes parties of the opposite sex.  What to do?

First – Have a conversation about roles, wishes and expectations.  Talk about what you would like to gain from the relationship, what role you would like the mentor to play, what you want to learn, when and how you will give each other feedback about the relationship.  I failed to talk with a mentor recently about my desire to have the relationship itself as a venue for learning.  When there was a mis-step in the relationship we had no agreement that we would talk about it or how.  Sadly we never talked about what happened and the relationship ended soon thereafter.

Talk specifically about the role of the mentor as a sponsor and advocate if that’s what you’re hoping for.  Will he help you gain access to important informal networks?  If so, how?   Will you have lunch or attend a sports event in order to be introduced to people in his network?  If that seems awkward what alternatives will achieve the same goals? What seems okay? What doesn’t?  How will you talk about potentially awkward situations?  Recently I had a client meeting scheduled prior to another meeting he was attending at a hotel.  Being a gentleman, he felt it was inappropriate to have a professional meeting with a woman in a hotel lobby or bar, so we chose a nearby coffee shop instead.

Second – Reciprocate. Your mentor is benefiting from the relationship as well. What would he like to learn or gain? How can you help?

Third – Help your mentor help you. Tell him how you learn and what you need. One of the major differences between the way men and women give and receive help centers around listening versus advising and fixing.  Women often want someone to listen.  The act of sharing the story in a relationship helps her see new and different perspectives.  This in turn opens the door to new solutions.  Men may lean more toward wanting and giving advice or lending a hand.  If you know in general or in a particular instance that you need a sounding board, say so.  If you want advice, say so.

One of my favorite female mentor role models is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  She listens empathetically to the desires of the lion, the tin man and the scarecrow and invites each to join her as she too looks for a solution to her problem.  Along the way she encourages each companion to confront a situation that requires him to use the quality he searches for, and in the process he discovers he’s had it within him all along.  In the end Dorothy also discovers that she has been in possession of the solution she thought only the grand wizard of Oz could provide.

[1] Obstacles and Levers for Women: An organization Assessment.

©2010 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

While the beauty and effectiveness of leadership coaching lies largely in its individualized approach, sometimes a client presents me with an issue or dilemma that many others share.  So I have developed “Put A Coach in Your Corner” as a way to make solutions available to a wider audience.  Because one size does not fit all I present several suggestions, one of which worked for the client who posed the original problem.  Use what works for you and your unique situation.  Customize it to ensure a great fit.  Please post your own questions, comments and suggestions so others may benefit from what you’ve learned. I look forward to hearing from you.

Coach Anne

How Do I Break through Barriers to Informal Social Networks?

Nancy was recently promoted to Vice President Field Operations in a global retail company that sells largely to female customers.  In her previous job, she was a part of  the informal social networks where people develop relationships that smooth the way for conducting business. In her new role, however, she has yet to be invited to join internal or external associates for drinks after work, football games or rounds of golf that are the venues for networking in her company.   Often important deals are also discussed and virtually sealed in these settings or during the Monday morning post game phone call.  Nancy has clearly expressed her love of football and golf, but still no invitations.  She asks what else she can do.  Here are several suggestions.  Nancy used the one that fit her style and received a number of invitations as a result.

1.  Start a women’s golf league in your company and get corporate sponsorship.  Include golf lessons for novices or those who need to improve their game.  The business case for this investment in straightforward.  Important business is conducted on the golf course and women need to participate.  Make sure that lessons, tee times, etc. take place when when the guys are there and show up at the bar afterwards.

2.  Invest the time and effort to discover the personal and professional goals of your peers, vendors and other external partners.  This is best done in an informal 1:1 setting, so invite them for coffee or lunch. At the appropriate time, let them know you’ve been excluded from important social networks where you can help each other achieve your goals and ask for their help opening those doors for you.   

3.  Host a football, basketball, baseball or soccer game.  Again, get financial support for tickets from your company.  Developing your social network is a business issue.  After the game you might remind some of your associates that they owe you one or perhaps take a more subtle approach and let them know you would love to see a specific upcoming game.  Be sure to name the teams and the dates.

4.  Create a gender neutral event -  a group culinary event,wine tasting; volley ball game or bowling.  Invite male and female colleagues. 

Final note:  Women must do more of what men do so well – open the network to others and bring them along.  Invite other women as well as your male associates.  This takes the focus and tension away from you as the only woman.  You get to be among peers and colleagues without being under the spotlight and it is more comfortable and fun for all.

©2010 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.