Allow Me to Introduce…Myself?

My name is…Anne?

I am a confident professional woman worth…knowing?

And I am asking why women end their statements as if they are questions? I seem to be doing it…too?

Ladies, what’s up with the question mark love?
I can’t think of many better ways for women to further dis-empower themselves.

Please…stop?

Oops. That was a mistake.

Stop!

That was better.

Five Experts – Question Marks Galore

The other night I attended a dance program choreographed and performed by artists in residence at The Yard.

After the performance, the five choreographers took center stage to answer questions from the audience. One after the other, each of these young women punctuated her answers using the annoying uptick, ending her statements as if they were questions. Each woman seemed to second guess her words before they left her mouth. The tone conveyed,

I have no authority.

I don’t want to risk being wrong, or being right for that matter.

I am not sure of myself.

Don’t take me too seriously.

So why should we?

Each of these young women had choreographed a strong piece rich with meaning. None of the pieces appeared to be a question. Each and all were statements.

But when it came to representing themselves, their thoughts, their expertise, their passions, they danced with questions.

Why?

Ladies, if you do only one thing to enhance your career, stop speaking in questions, unless you are asking one.

Okay?

Let me here you say…

Okay!!

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Women: What’s Up with the Question Mark Love? is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

Preamble: As you read this post, please be mindful that I believe both men and women, The Masculine and The Feminine, are required to lead for and into a future we need and one we must pursue. This post, and many others, emphasize The Feminine and women, because it and we have been missing from the leadership equation in business. Had men been missing, I hope and trust I would advocate for The Masculine. Why business? In developed countries business is a tremendous lever for change. For profit enterprises have both a sense of urgency and the resources to lead a paradigm shift, not to the exclusion, however, of government, not for profits, and other organized communities.

The Sign Reads

Point 1.

Emerging global conditions are like a neon sign flashing warnings of what’s required on the road ahead. It reads PARADIGM SHIFT.

What are the conditions behind this sign?

• Failing governments
• Failing economies that don’t respond to methods previously used to “fix” such problems
• Extreme weather conditions (This one is just beginning.)
• Out of control U.S. health care costs that we cannot fix
• Extinction/depletion of species and natural resources that will not and cannot be restored (Been fishing lately? Catch much?)

What’s called for is a BIG SHIFT – not a small adjustment, or a tweak, or a stronger pull of some previously used lever. These moves are akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Paradigm Shift

The shift involves our assumption that

Growth is good.

Bigger is better.

More is desirous.

A bigger house. A bigger car. A bigger business. A bigger economy. Bigger breasts. Erection doesn’t last long enough? (Longer is the time version of bigger.) We can fix that too. Caution though – 3 days is too much. See your doctor.

Grow the economy. Grow your business. If your children aren’t tall enough give them growth hormones. And have you seen the growing girth of the population? Bigger portions please.

Because, after all, bigger is better. Growth is good. It’s the natural way of things, or is it?

To get bigger we are borrowing against a future that won’t exist, at least not in the way we picture it, because of the very fact that we are borrowing against it.

If we don’t make the shift voluntarily, and we may not, IT will make us. Nature has a way of balancing herself.

Why the Shift Isn’t Happening

Point 2.

People who come to power in the current paradigm are least likely to see the assumptions underlying said paradigm. They are not bad people, just fish swimming in the water. They are unlikely to see that their assumptions, around which they build their lives and the systems that govern their lives, are not givens or natural laws, such as gravity, but conditions they have created. They don’t see that these created assumptions build a story. It is a story those in power, the ones who get to create the prevailing belief systems, tell themselves about the world, that results in a world about which they tell themselves that story. For the story creators to see these assumptions would be like fish seeing the water in which they swim. They don’t. It simply was, is and always will be. They know nothing else.

Why Women Can Create the Shift

Point 3.

Women are not currently the driving power in business. It is not our story, so we have a vantage point to see the assumptions on which the story is built. Some of us see other plausible assumptions and the stories they can create. We’d like to change things. How do I know? We asked. (Jane Perdue is my partner in seeking answers from women.) We did the research. We surveyed over 200 professional business women, most of whom work in large national or multinational corporations, to find out why they aspire to positions of power – to what end? Their top two priorities are “financial security for my family” not financial growth or riches, and “to lead change and make the world a better place.”

The Paradox of Power

Paradox

Point 4.

It’s tricky. Women have to come into power in a system that does not reflect the way we think about or use power, and simultaneously we have to create the shift to a new way of thinking about and using power. We have to know how to push from both sides, as pictured in the broom with two handles. Then there is the question of whether we will use our power to change the game, the rules and the desired outcomes or whether we will we be co-opted along the way? The story that holds the answer to this question has yet to be told.

Here are my recommendations for creating a story we will be proud of and in which future generations will live enriched (not by dollars) lives.

1. Replace BIGGER. Make a shift.

I like fulfilling.

Is your life fulfilling?

Are you fulfilling your purpose for being here?

Are you full yet? Yes? Good, time to stop eating.

You may choose a different concept. That’s fine.

The first order of business is to understand and stay true to WHY we want power. On behalf of what are we called to lead?

What is the story you want to tell about the world you helped to create?

2. Dress ourselves up in suits of power and get in the game, but never forget the purpose for which we donned those suits.

Understand the current rules.

Once there, and that means all along the way, create the shift.

Start pushing the broom from the other side.

3. Nelson Mandela this thing.

We are not better than men.

We simply have something different to offer, and it is needed now.

We also need men and women working together to make this new paradigm work.

Without men we will simply become fish in a different pond that cannot see the water in which they swim.

Here’s a sample of what could be.

It is new story two women have already created. Enjoy.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

PARADIGM SHIFT and THE PARADOX of POWER is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

For the past year we’ve been asking professional women

Step into your power shoes

about their relationship to power.

• How they define it
• What strategies they use to earn it
  • Which ones work well and which ones don’t
• What they use their power to achieve, and more

We are excited to share what we learned and equip more women to step up and into power. An overview of our report was recently published in The Glass Hammer. By mid-June you will be able to download our whitepaper entitled Babe, I’m Taking Charge Here for an in-depth review of what we found in our research with over 215 professional women, many of whom have broken through glass ceilings while remaining true to who they are as women.

In Babe, I’m Taking Charge Here

You will read about the cocktail of factors that keep women from obtaining clout positions. We challenge and prove wrong those who say woman do not aspire to positions of power. You will discover how to go over, around, and through the various impediments, including:

Internal Obstacles

Emotional, Social and Cultural Factors

The Cinderella Syndrome – waiting for Prince (or Princess) Charming to deliver the power shoe

The Inner Critics – internal voices that chant, “You can’t. It’s too hard. You’re too…”

Like Me – cultural press to be liked over being respected, self-respecting and powerful.

First Cousin to Like Me – failure to talk about accomplishments and advocate for yourself

Cognitive Factors

Different Realities – defining and understanding power in ways that don’t fit prevailing corporate realities

The Paradox of Power – sticking with either/or thinking; failure to adopt both/and thinking in relation to power

External Obstacles

Legacy Cultures

Buddy Systems and Old Boys’ Clubs

You Will Learn

How to transform Cinderella into Dorothy of Oz, Alice in Wonderland or other self-initiating heroines

How to turn inner critics into inner advocates

A definition of power and how it works, that works for you

To manage paradox of power and increase your chances of more rapid promotion

You can order the white paper when it’s available, or you can

JOIN US FOR THE WEBINAR – WOMEN & POWER: The Next Frontier

June 15, 2011

2:00 PM ET

Click here to register and to find out more

*The Women and Power study, as well as related articles and reports come to you by way of Anne Perschel, President Germane Consulting and Jane Perdue, CEO of Brathwaite Innovation Group.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

STEP UP & INTO POWER is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

NOW Leadership is Both/And & Both Hands

This month we asked men we respect who are leaders and early adopters of NOWLeadership (although they may name it differently) to talk about why they believe integrating feminine and masculine is the way forward and why we need women to lead along with men. Every month we think our contributors have created the best-yet issue of NOW. This month it’s really true.

Enjoy. Learn. Grow, and Challenge Yourself. We invite you to contribute your own comments. In fact, we cherish the fact that you do so. The conversation makes a difference.

For NOW and until next time…

Anne and Marion

Leading with Paradox: Notes from a Feminist’s Son

Tony Schwartz, Harvard Business Review writer as well as President and CEO of The Energy Project, talks about how his mother, Felice Schwartz, founder of Catalyst; and his father, the least macho man you could imagine, influenced Tony to lead with and through paradox.

Why we asked, “Why women?”

Bruce Watluck, @complexified, recently asked, “How do you work with men are not convinced women can and should play a role as leaders?”

Anne’s answer: “Mostly I don’t. I work with early adopters as an intentional change strategy.” I choose this route because working against or even with resistance, you end up using a lot of energy to achieve very little gain and sometimes you get a bucket full of exhaustion and two full buckets of despair.

And then I had a big “DUH” moment. Why wasn’t I and why wasn’t Marion, my partner in NOWLeadership, asking the men who are early adopters to speak up?

So I did.

Here’s what they said:

Why Women? by Adam Quinton

Adam says “Most guys don’t get it so it has to be framed not as a moral or a fairness issue, but as…

Why Women? by Lee J. Carey

Twitter and a mirror opened Lee’s eyes about the dearth of women leaders in his own backyard and in the larger world. He is now an avid supporter.

Why Women? by Eric Peterson

Eric cannot remember a time when he didn’t advocate for women leaders and thinks perhaps it’s because he is gay, grew up in Japan and simply wired that way.

Brand Masculine: Leadership, Perceptions, and the Future

Dale Lawrence responded to a different request by Marion last month about the new masculinity, but tornadoes and resulting flight delays as well as crashing computers prevented Dale’s response from arriving on time for April’s edition. No worries. NOW can wait. Dale has included some puzzling research findings that state people have greater trust in women leaders but when it comes to naming them to these roles..well that’s a different story.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

NOWLeadership May Edition: “Why Women?” What He Says is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

Why I Advocate for Women

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t an advocate for women leaders and encouraging traditionally feminine leadership attributes. This may be related to my tendency towards styles that favor the feminine over the masculine as indicated by every personality assessment I’ve taken, from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to the Predictive Index to the Enneagram to the FIRO-B. I focus on people before tasks, values-based decisions before decisions based on logic, “heart” before “head” or “gut,” and belonging before dominance.

Because I’m Gay, Grew Up in Japan, and Wired That Way

Some might think that as a gay man I’m naturally more in touch with my “feminine side” than heterosexual men.  I don’t necessarily disagree, but I think it’s just as likely that spending five years of my childhood in Japan had a profound impact on my values as they relate to community vs. the individual, and it’s just as likely that I’m just wired this way.

Throughout my career, I’ve been coached (by men and women alike) to adopt a more masculine style.  Of course, no one ever used those exact words, but that’s the crux of their argument.  And they were (and are) probably right.  Inching toward a style that strikes a better balance between masculine and feminine might very well be valuable to me, as it would be for anyone else.  At the same time, I am what I am.  You are who you are, he is who he is, and she is who she is.  If organizations are to reap the maximum benefits of both leadership styles, the best and easiest way to do that is to value both, encourage both, and promote both – so that those who typify both are present when important decisions are being made, and neither group sacrifices their authenticity.

Because There Are No Organizations Where Sexism Does Not Exist

Throughout my career, I’ve encountered organizations that claim there is no sexism in their culture.  As proof, they usually offer up one or two out of hundreds who have risen to senior leadership.  If these women can do it, they reason, there’s absolutely no reason why others can’t.  I have met these women. Without fail they are textbook examples of masculine leadership styles: focus on task, logical decision-making, unafraid to ruffle feathers in order to make their case.  In most cases, the women also made a conscious decision not to have children, which left them unencumbered by work-life considerations that most women (and an increasing number of men) in today’s workforce are focused on.  These organizations were not only rife with sexism, and treating the vast majority of their female employees very poorly, they were missing out on what half the population had to offer.  Women and men with more traditionally feminine leadership styles were unseen and unheard in these organizations, and the decisions made by the senior leadership teams were made quickly and without a lot of conflict – but they were the same decisions that any one of those senior leaders could have made on their own.  Which begs the question: why have a team, when everyone at the table is the same?

Eric Peterson

In addition to being a major mensch, Eric Peterson is also Manager, Diversity & Inclusion, Society for Human Resource Management.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Why Women by Eric Peterson is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

Most Guys Don’t See It

Guys generally do not “get it”.  Indeed on a whole host of questions, for example “Is there discrimination in the workplace?” the answers by gender are very different. Men see no problem at all or much less of a problem than women do. Therefor an appeal to advance more women based on a moral perspective will likely be pretty ineffective. But a “hard nosed” business argument supporting diversity in general is crucial to progress especially in the US where quotas are simply not going to happen.

So in my view as long as advancing women in leadership is seen as a “women’s issue”  progress will be slow. It needs to be seen as

1. A Diversity Issue

It has to be framed as broader than women, otherwise it gets discounted as special pleading. This is especially true as many attempts at corporate fixes are delegated to HR which is typically disproportionately female.

2. A Crucial Business Issue

Those Who See It

As to the personal reasons, this might be of interest. A former colleague of mine, now Chief Diversity Officer at a major corporation, did a survey of what she called her “male allies” – senior men, not in HR, who were supporters of the firm’s efforts to advance women into more leadership positions. She thought there might be common factors such as having daughters or strong mothers who had been powerful influences. Based on an admittedly small sample and anecdotal discussions she concluded these men indeed shared one common trait – a strong sense of “fairness.” They could all see that something was “wrong” and that an important group of colleagues was not progressing as they should.

Adam Quinton

Adam is Adjunct Associate Professor, Columbia University School of International and Public Affairs

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Why Women by Adam Quinton is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

Felice Schwartz

 

She was obsessed with fairness

A woman of great certainty who saw the world in black and white.

Later in her life she asked me to teach her about gray.

He was gentle, sweet and unreservedly supportive.

Tony Schwartz

His mother, Felice Schwartz, founded Catalyst, an organization that expands opportunities for women and business using each to promote and evolve the other. You may know Tony as a writer for Harvard Business Review as well as President and CEO of The Energy Project and author of the best selling book Be Excellent at Anythin. For NOW, in this post, he is his mother’s son. What follows is excerpted from an April 2011 interview with Tony to discover how Felice Schwartz influenced his leadership. I discovered way more than that, and trust you will too.

Why and how did your mother start Catalyst?

She had been intentionally out of the workplace for a decade while raising her children. When she wanted to go back she found no ramps, no stairways and no doors, so she started an organization to enable women with children to combine work and family. She gathered five board members, all deans of colleges including Smith, her own alma mater. She then set out to convince companies they were losing money by failing to hire these talented women. My mother also co-authored a book entitled How to Go to Work When Your Husband Is Against It, Your Children Aren’t Old Enough, and There’s Nothing You Can Do Anyhow.

This section is from The Jewish Women’s Archive* and not part of Tony’s interview

Catalyst’s original mission was:

“to bring to our country’s needs the unused abilities of intelligent women who want to combine work and family.” Felice Schwartz was determined to put Catalyst’s definition,

“in terms that were acceptable and non-threatening.”

What was you Dad’s reaction?

He idolized my mother. He was awed by who she was and what she did. He was extremely proud of her. All the while, he too was a very accomplished man, a scientist and educator who worked at the graduate level in a medical school. He was gentle and sweet, accepting and non-judgmental – not at all macho. He was the gentle soul in our family, probably more like a traditional mother – sweet and accepting. He was very beloved, naturally kind, and as unreservedly supportive a person as you can imagine. At times my mother was bloodied by the battle she was fighting. He was the one she came to for support and unconditional love.

How did your parents inform who you are as a leader?

My life’s mission is profoundly influenced by my mother. It was not always easy between us, so it is a great irony to me that the work about which I am most passionate is so similar to what she was passionate about. I too am committed to her fierce belief that we are here to make a difference, to make the world better. She fought for women to have jobs they otherwise wouldn’t have. I am fighting for people to have lives they otherwise wouldn’t have. It is a natural evolution of her work.

Most of the qualities great leaders need today are those described as female – tolerance for paradox, self awareness, empathy, sensitivity. I also believe it is critical for the leader to be aware of how people in the company are feeling. I learned about sensitivity to others more from my father than from my mother.

Integrating the Paradox – Celebrating the Opposites

The way I think about leadership integrates what I learned from my father as a role model about the people and my mother as a role model about the mission. I also think I was influenced by their lack of concern about traditional roles. I always assumed my wife would work and that we would share parenting.

At a conceptual level I engage and embrace opposites. The Greek notion of Anacoluthia (ideas that are out of sequence and do not naturally follow each other) holds that no virtue is a virtue by itself. For example, tenacity without flexibility is stubbornness. Seeing the world in certain black and white terms does not serve us well in these times. To me, it is almost axiomatic that to be a great leader today means to have an embracing view of the world and to be capable of holding the tension between seemingly opposite qualities.

Tony Schwartz

• Confidence and Humility
• Toughness and Tenderness
• Courage and Prudence
• Brutal Honesty and Empathy

In the workplace, we have overvalued the traditionally masculine qualities I’ve listed (above on the left) and undervalued the traditionally feminine ones (on the right). Great leaders are capable of valuing opposite qualities and moving between them with flexibility. The impulse is to choose up sides because it creates for us the illusion of a safer world. But the world is too complex for that. It is unequivocally a both-and, not so much an either-or.

I learned a lot of these lessons growing up in a non-traditional family where everything was questioned.

*Accessed from Jewish Women’s Archive http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/schwartz-felice-nierenberg on 5/24/11

 

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Leading With Paradox – Notes from a Feminist’s Son is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

One of My Favorites

Based on research with successful women, Sally Helgesen brings to life the extraordinary talents of women. I had one regret about reading this book… I wish I had written it. Helgesen puts into print the promise women are capable of delivering. I have both seen and experienced it. Hear the power of your own voice in these pages. Then use it to be the change you seek to create and the one that’s sorely needed.

A Steal

Grab it. Margaret Heffernan illustrates, by way of female entrepreneurs and the companies they build, what Helgeson identifies about women’s vision. The enterprises in Heffernan’s book are led with women’s talents and values. Read how empathy leads to great product designs and raving fans who become word of mouth reps for companies such as Pampered Chef. Need better work-life-fit? In several of these woman led companies, children are a welcome sight in the workplace.

Women in Academia and Elsewhere

What do women in academia endure and what archetypes are involved?
In one of my favorite passages Rushing reports a conversation with her husband. Both are professors. Each describes their respective great day in the classroom. He is standing at the front of the room giving one of his best lectures ever. Students sit facing him, listening with rapt attention to his every word. She arranges the chairs in a circle so students can engage in conversation with each other, discovering and learning together. Ideas fly and the energy is palpable. She is one of many teachers in the room this day.

Sadly, Janice Hocker Rushing died of cancer before this book was published. The forward by her sister is worth more than the cost and the time it takes to read Erotic Mentoring. You will be moved.

Check back for updates to Good Reads.

Note: As an Amazon Associate Germane Consulting receives an itsy bitsy number of pennies, sometimes dimes or on a rare occasion quarters from the sale of each book when you click and buy from this site.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Good Reads By About and For Professional Women is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

If I had a magic wand or the hands of a plastic surgeon, and I have neither, I would grant professional women a thicker layer of skin. This added dermis would prevent us from wasting hours, sometimes days, recovering from negative feedback, off-side looks, slights, and words heard behind our back, that penetrate a woman’s thin skin. Thicker skin would enable more women to step up, to lead, and to get to the top. It is where some of us want to be, should be, and what the world needs.

Thicken thy skin

How do I know thicker skin will help?

In our research on women and power, Jane Perdue and I asked survey respondents, 104 professional women, to choose between their desire to “be powerful,” to be “well-liked,” or to be “with a powerful partner.”  Fifty percent chose powerful; while 34% preferred well-liked and 16% opted for a powerful partner. Thicker skin would change these odds. It would reduce the pain of feeling “they don’t like me,” and enable women to opt for roles that call for doing the right thing over the “like me” thing.

I also know because I’ve wasted time fretting over someone who said something that stung. But that was then, and this is now. I’ve learned to shed or avoid those who lie waiting, stingers at the ready. And if I do get stung it doesn’t matter for long because I’m going somewhere important and haven’t the time to waste.

What to do, absent the wand and skin thickening surgery?

Practice.

Be your counsel. How? Listen to your inner voice. It knows.

Those who rent space inside your head will have their say. Thank them for sharing their views. Then see the part of yourself, let’s call her Maggie, who has been convinced or paralyzed by these voices.  Notice her age. She is younger than you are now. Ask if she might let You take over. Assure Maggie you are capable and strong. Tell her you will not be hurt, and then watch as she hands you the reins. Take them.

If you are a mother reference the muscles you developed when over and over you decided to do right by your children. Recall the strength it took to over-ride the tiny, horrid, skin-piercing voices screaming for what they wanted. Recall their tears, tantrums, and name calling. Recall that neither you nor your sense of what you needed to do, as a mother, was diminished. Recall that strength.

Now use it to lead not to win a popularity contest.

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Woman: Hold the Botox -Thicken Your Skin is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology

I cut and sharpened my business choppers at a Fortune 50 company where I learned how to grow my credibility and power over time

and then learned how to lose it overnight.

Surviving and Thriving in My Fraud Job

Bored and not earning enough money as a teacher, I decided to head for the fertile ground of the high tech industry which was growing like crazy at the time. A certificate course in technical writing for the software industry would be my ticket. Soon after graduating, Anonymous Inc. offered me a technical trainer position. It happened at a job fair and went pretty much as follows:

• I hand my resume to the recruiter.
• He looks at it for 20 seconds and says. “You can teach, and you understand technology. We need technical trainers. Are you interested?”
• “Yes.”
• The end

I was hired to teach computer assembly technicians how to diagnose and fix hardware problems before shipping the behemoth systems. I had no idea how to do that, so I quickly found a problem I could address. Most of the technicians and assembly line workers were afraid to use computers to run tests, track inventory, etc. They feared they would crash and burn the system. I designed and taught a course called The ABC’s of Computers to allay their fears. The course was fun, interactive and very popular. The demand was high and people really did become more competent at their jobs, so I was spared from having to teach what I didn’t know. I also earned a solid reputation.

Within a year I left my fraud job and settled into Management Development. Because it played to my strengths I was good. Truth be told, I was excellent.

Gaining Credibility and Power with Love

I fell into the hands of an incredible mentor-sponsor who operated out of love and respect for the people around her. She decided Anonymous would pay for me to earn my master’s degree in organization development, a capability the company needed for its future. In return I shared what I learned with my peers.

I was in love. With my work. Love begets love, so I got more notice, more sponsors and within a few years had the respect of my peers and a number of senior line managers. I was soon named Senior Manager, Organization Development and had the opportunity to mentor and sponsor others.

Sitting Atop My High Horse

Howard, the most senior Organization Development Manager at Anonymous, tapped me to do some work with Frank, an executive in Field Service, and his team. Howard and I discussed the work briefly at the outset.

I was appalled by what I saw. During one particular meeting Frank and his staff were seated around a Polycom conference phone, perched in the center of a table like a shrine, awaiting a call from the SVP of Field Service. An announcement came though that the call was delayed, and one staff member stood up to leave for the rest room, politely stating, “Hope you don’t mind if I step out for a minute.” “Well, I do, so sit down.” Frank retorted. It felt like some sort of cult gathering with Frank commanding when and who could have bathroom breaks, water, or food. This was the “crippling hold” Frank’s team members had described to me in private. It was also clear they mistook their lack of understanding for what he said as a sign of his brilliance. I thought he simply made no sense. My attempts to strengthen the team’s capacity to give Frank feedback went nowhere, so I decided I to speak with him myself.

I donned my high horse with no information about Frank’s degree of influence or power in the company or with whom he held sway, and onward I rode. “The most significant problem with the team is you. You lead in ways that cause people to shrink. They have no power and they lose their intelligence. This is not an effective way to do business, and I cannot imagine you will succeed or go any further in your career unless you make some changes. In fact, if you don’t change, I imagine you may not be here much longer.” I don’t remember what he said, and I don’t think I cared all that much. I thought it was a lost cause, and this was my last attempt to intervene in a way that might have any effect whatsoever.

Losing Power on My Fall from High Horse

A year later there was an opening for an Organization Development manager who would be a peer to Howard. I was invited to apply. I considered it a slam dunk and was more than surprised when someone else was selected. My manager at the time was kind enough to tell me that Howard cast the dissenting vote, and he was adamant. It took me months to understand what happened and to eat that horrid crow dinner Howard prepared for me when I arrived at his door with questions and an apology.

The meal included several courses of new information. Following my feedback meeting Frank he went directly to Howard and asked or rather shouted, “Who is that woman? I will make sure she never works in Field Service again, ever. I want her fired.” Howard did what he could to calm Frank, and I wasn’t fired, but Howard felt slighted by my “lack of respect” for him. He thought as the senior person who referred me for the work, I should have sought his approval for the intervention with Frank. For my failure to do so, Howard put the kibash on my candidacy. The dilemmas was that I knew Howard rarely gave his clients deeply honest feedback, but instead served to further their ambitions and thereby achieved his own. Even so, I believe with a little more finesse and regard for the power dynamics of the situation I could have done what was needed with Howard’s support.

Learning from the Rise and the Fall

Here is what I took away from the experience of growing and losing power at Anonymous.

• Solve important problems even if they lie outside the strict boundaries of what you were hired to do
• Play on the learning edge of where the company is headed
• Respect power
• Being right and doing the right thing are not one and the same
• Go to the power sources for alignment before leaping into risk, especially if that risk involves other powerful sources
• Right does not make might and might does not make right
• The combination of might and right is probably best

Post Script

In the end, I was right about Frank. He was asked to leave, but being right got me only so far as the last rung on my shortened career ladder at Anonymous.

A few months ago I heard from two associates that Howard had joined their consulting firm, and left with a number of clients in tow, despite having signed a non-compete.

Wherefore art thou Karma?

Care to share your lessons on power?

©2012 Germane Insights. All Rights Reserved.

Power – How to Build it Over Time & Lose It Overnight is an original post from Anne Perschel on Germane Insights - Achieving Leadership Excellence through the Art and Science of Psychology