Build Your Self Confidence: Tips for Professional Women – Part 2
Welcome to part 2 of this 4-part series on building your self confidence. Part 1 provides an overview of research indicating that professional women see lack of self confidence as the biggest obstacle to achieving their career goals. Part 1 also includes two self-confidence boosting tips. If you haven’t read it yet, it’s worth checking out.
Build Your Self Confidence Muscles – The Mental Gymnasium
Self confidence is a mental muscle. Like all muscles, the more you use it, the stronger it grows. The less you use it, the weaker it gets. If you want to build muscle faster, do more reps and increase your lifting weight. To build your self confidence, you have to identify and exercise specific muscles that are weak due to lack of use.
Let’s head for the mental gymnasium. I’ll be your fitness coach. We’ll start by measuring your self confidence muscle mass.
Step 1. Rate your self confidence on a specific task or situation at which you’d like to be more confident. (We’ll use “talking to people I don’t know” as an example.)
On a 5 point scale, I’m a ________ when it comes to starting a conversation with people I don’t know.
Step 2. Choose a situation (an exercise) to build your self confidence muscle in relation to your chosen task.
It might help to begin in a less risky environment. It’s equivalent to starting with lighter weights and exercises that are both challenging and within reach. If you’re uncomfortable talking to people you don’t know, get a part time job tending bar. If that’s too big a time commitment, assign yourself homework. “I’m going to a coffee shop alone and staying until I strike up a conversation with a stranger.” (Placing your order doesn’t count.) Plan conversation starters in advance. “I’m here to practice talking to people I don’t know, and since we don’t know each other…” Bring a crossword puzzle and ask for help.
Step 3. Enjoy your success, which lies in the doing, not the outcome. Give yourself a pat on the back.
Step 4. Measure the increase in your self-confidence.
On a 5 point scale, I’m now a ________ about starting a conversation with people I don’t know.
Step 5. As your muscle grows lift heavier weights and create more challenging exercises. Repeat steps 2 – 5, for each new situation/exercise.
Example: Now that you’ve talked to strangers in a coffee shop, commit to attending a networking event. Assign yourself a task. “I’m going to start conversations with people I don’t know.” Once again, plan a few conversation starters, in advance.
Join a Career Fitness Center for Professional Women
If you’re a professional woman who needs to build your self confidence and other important career muscles visit 3Plus International’s Career Fitness Center.
You can find the next post in this series, Self Confidence: Image Matters here.