What are Gender Bias Paper Cuts?
Gender bias paper cuts, also termed micro-inequities, are small acts that result in small slights. Over time, however, they accumulate and act like sandpaper on a woman’s professional skin. They wear down her confidence. They diminish her sense of belonging to, and participating in, the group. The person who renders the cut often does so unintentionally and unconsciously. Male bystanders may barely notice or see it as “no big deal”. If and when it happens to them, they simply take it in stride and carry on. The latter makes women feel uneasy about calling attention to these seemingly itsy-bitsy gender bias paper cuts. So the cuts and their painful affects continue. (You’ll find real life stories of gender bias paper cuts from the professional trenches in my previous post.)
When I lead workshops on gender bias paper cuts, women nod their heads in a chorus of recognition before I’m done describing the following example.”You’re the only woman, or one or two, at the meeting. You say something relevant to the topic. You’re negated or ignored. Within a minute a man (this is when women’s heads begin to nod in unison) says the same thing, almost verbatim, and suddenly it’s a good idea.
Several years ago I shared this example with Ed, a Senior Vice President with whom I was consulting about how to increase gender balance in his organization. Ed’s response? “That happens to me all the time?” I suppose it does, but these actions take on a different meaning for a woman who didn’t invent the rules and may not know how to respond in ways that work. In addition, when a woman responds as a man would, she is usually not well-received.
What to Do?
4 Tips to Stop Gender Bias Paper Cuts
- Find supporters, raise awareness, and ask them to speak up when cuts occur
- Read the context
- Determine the outcomes you want to achieve
- Take the high road but not on a high horse
Tip 1 in action: Deborah is the only woman in an engineering drawing class. She’s having a tough time in the course. The professor often ignores Deborah’s raised hand and is quick to tell the class about flaws in her work. Deborah’s good friend Tom is in the class and they’ve had a conversation-lite about the paper cuts. One day the professor crosses the line in his public criticism of Deborah. Tom speaks up. “Your job is to teach her, not to humiliate her.” When the class is over, Tom walks out with his arm draped across Deborah’s shoulders. Brava Tom.
Tips 2, 3, and 4 in action: Barbara is one of two women on the team. She is often cut off, ignored, talked over, and/or negated when she speaks at meetings. She understands the context. This is a group of her peers. They also interrupt each other and aren’t consciously cutting her off because she’s a woman. She doesn’t take it personally. Her intended outcomes? Add value to the group. She lightly and firmly addresses the next cut off. “Could we back up the conversation please? I have another point to make before we move on.” After the meeting, she takes Frank, the paper cutter, aside. “I know you didn’t mean to cut me off, and I hope my comment didn’t offend you.” Statements that assume good intentions are of the utmost importance, because people will, for the most part, want to live up to what you’ve ascribed. Mission accomplished on the high road, without the high horse.