This is the 4th and final post of the self confidence series. You can find the first post in this series here.
Self Confidence and Courage – Are They Contextual?
Context:
He’s a world wide SVP of a ten-thousand person company. On this day, he’s addressing a room full of professional women. He’s never done anything like this before. He’s in a mostly male profession and typically in the company of other men. There were four women out of 100 students in his college engineering program. With the exception of the event manager standing by the exit door, Mr. Global SVP is, on this day, the only man in the room. He has spoken to larger audiences, presented to Wall Street wolves, and remained cool calm and collected when facing angry customers. But on this day, with this group – of women – he was sweating bullets. He was dry-mouthed, and his knees were wobbling. Before facing the crowd, he sought advice, lots of advice. He practiced and practiced and practiced. But he was still nervous and not his usual confident self. Somehow he found the courage to stand up and speak, wobbling legs and all.
Courage and self confidence are contextual.
Context:
She was once a little girl who crawled on all fours. Then one day, her courage led the way as she put one wobbling leg forward, swayed back and forth, to and fro. Then she lifted the other leg, and with as much effort, stepped it forward. She had no reason to think, or to believe she would succeed at this task called walking. After all, she had never done it before. But she probably wasn’t even thinking about walking or trying to believe she could walk. SHE JUST DID IT. EVERYONE admired her courage and her fortitude. They applauded.
Courage and self confidence are contextual.
Context:
When she grew up she went to work in The Corporation and she played The Game on the Field of Business. It was a sport invented by men for men, until things changed, and women started to play, but the rules were still governed by men. Most of her competitors were men. The judges, the critics and the award givers, were also men. Most of the men had been playing longer than she had. Most of them understood the rules better than she did. They also had a support network of other men who were there for each when one of them fell. She didn’t have a support network. She, a once self confident baby girl, who had the courage to walk, to fall down, to stand up and walk again, lacked self confidence on this field.
Courage and self confidence are contextual.
Your 5 Step Instant Courage Building Program
Dear grown-up baby girl,
Step 1: Before you enter that scary conference room, sit on that speaker panel, walk into that big auditorium by yourself, recall your most courageous self. Find her in a specific memory. Maybe it’s the time she crossed that six inch wide mountain ledge overlooking a ravine that seemed two miles below. Maybe it’s the time she sang at her best friend’s wedding in front of 200 strangers. Find her, where-ever she appears in your memory.
Step 2: Hold her hand before you enter the room.
Step 3: Hook up an imaginary IV line and let that liquid courage make it’s way from her to you. Let if flow. Notice where it lands in your body. It’s you. It’s your courage that you feel.
Step 4: Hear a sound track in your head. “I feel courageous. I know that I have courage.”
Step 5: Let it be true in every cell and every wired connection of your brain.
Go! Play! Have Fun! Have Courage!
You can read about the leadership competence-confidence factor here.