USE SPOTTERS TO BE A BETTER LEADER
Leadership spotters provide you with real time feedback, in the moment or immediately after, you did something related to a behavior you’re trying to change. Immediacy leads to powerful opportunities for reflection and progress towards you goal.
Consider a time when you touched a hot stove or iron. You sense the heat immediately and move your hand instantaneously. You also make a mental note, reminding yourself to, “wait 5 minutes for the iron to cool before putting it away,” or “remember to shut the burner off when you remove the pot.”
But you won’t naturally get this type of feedback at work, because people are reluctant to speak truth to power. That’s why you need to reach out and enlist spotters in your efforts to be a better leader.
HOW AND WHY SPOTTERS HELP
As a coach, I encourage leaders to enlist spotters, whose role it is to pay attention to the behaviors my clients are trying to change. Consider Henry who’s working on being more sensitive to people’s feelings. The old Henry is reactive. He doesn’t pause to consider the impact of his words on others.
Henry is working to change that behavior pattern by practicing the following steps.
- Noticing when he has a strong reaction
- Taking a 5 second pause
- Assessing the sensitivity, or lack of sensitivity, in what he’s about to say
- Choosing to go with his initial response or something more sensitive
But saying the first thing that comes to mind is a behavior that Henry has practiced for many years. It’s his default. It takes time for any and all of us to change default thoughts and behaviors, because over time they’ve become automatic. We don’t necessarily notice we’re thinking or doing the very things we’re trying to change. So, even though Henry is committed to being a better leader through increased sensitivity to others, he naturally reverts to his default behavior, as he works on changing it.
Your spotters notice when you’ve defaulted and when you’ve demonstrated the desired change. They tell you immediately or soon after, so you can recall what triggered your response, how you felt and what you were thinking in the moments before you defaulted. You learn the warning signals to beware in the future. When spotters note that you demonstrated the desired behaviors, their feedback is reinforcing.
Immediate feedback also allows you to identify patterns that reveal conditions more likely to lead to:
- Your default behavior
- Your desired behavior
This knowledge is an important part of the change process.
Let’s go back to Henry who’s prone to slip into default mode, to forget the pause, when he’s tired. He’s usually tired after several days of travel to different time zones. So, it’s best for Henry to steer away from contentious meetings until he’s more refreshed.
6 TIPS FOR HOW TO ENLIST YOUR SPOTTERS
1. Assume people want to help you be a better leader. Know that they want to be engaged in this process and are pleased that you asked.
2. Describe for them the specific behavior you’re trying to change.
What you want to avoid doing
What you want to start doing
What modification you want to make to an existing behavior
3. Identify how and where you want to receive their feedback. Is it a private signal during public meetings? A note? A private conversation?
4. Listen when they give you feedback
5. Don’t defend your actions, no matter how justified you think they are
6. Express appreciation for their help each and every time