Egoless Leading – You Are Not Your Title
When you lead, you’re functioning as a leader. When you’re not leading, you’re not a leader, which is probably most of the time.
The path to egoless leading begins with understanding you’re not a leader. Titles are static. Leading is something you do. It’s not a role or a title. When you identify with your title, whether it’s CEO, Global Vice President, or Executive Director your ego is involved. When your ego is involved, you’re probably not functioning as a leader.
If your identity is tied to your title, along with its status and power, you’re attached. Attachment leads to a desire for permanence in a world where change is constant. The desire for permanence leads to grasping. Desire and grasping are functions of your ego, and they interfere with your ability to function as a leader. You cannot serve your ego and simultaneously serve an important mission and those working to achieve it.
Leadership is something you’re called to activate. Leading comes through you. Leader is not who you are. The moment your title becomes your identity, your leadership is subject to being contaminated by your ego.
You may suffer from the delusion that you’re a leader. In reality, you’re a human being who is called to lead, at times. When you’re standing in line at the grocery store, you’re someone standing in line, like everyone else. When you’re sitting on a plane, you’re not a CEO or an Executive Director. You’re a human being sitting on a plane, just like everyone else.
Egoless Leading versus Egoic Leader
Henry leads without ego. Ben’s identity is tied to being the CEO.
Ben declared a set of principles and supporting behaviors to ensure people on his team work well together. He wants problem solvers who work across titles and organizational boundaries. What he has is a group of senior executives who compete with each other. They point fingers instead of collaborating. They protect their fiefdoms. Ben is frustrated. He doubles down, repeating the principles and behaviors. He posts them around the room. Nothing changes. Ben shakes his head in disbelief. Why don’t they get it? I’ve told them over and over what I want.
Ben believes people will, and should, do what he asks, because he’s the leader. When they don’t, he becomes frustrated and asks,
What’s wrong with them?
Ben swaps out members of his team. Still, nothing changes. Ben’s ego doesn’t allow him the freedom or perspective to see that he is the only constant. If he did something different, the team might respond differently.
Henry is not attached to his title. People on his team compete, point fingers and protect their fiefdoms. Henry asks, “How can I help people see that finger pointing and protectionism are getting in the way of what’s possible? How can I help them be more collaborative?”
Egoless leading asks,
What’s called for? How can I help?
Henry believes his team needs to experience the success and joy of working together. He takes them on a white water rafting trip. At the end of the day they’re soaking wet, laughing, and high fiving. Together they’ve created a shared story that affects how they work together as a team.
The Path to Egoless Leading
Mindfulness meditation is the most direct route to not identifying with your ego and the titles, status and power it desires. Mindfulness allows you to observe your ego. When you’re observing your ego you’re not caught up in it. This is the first step on your path to egoless leading and the wisdom you need to lead well..