When life stinks, smile.
A Lesson in Learning to Lead with a Smile
Ed (not his real name) is an Engineering Director who worries, a lot. He has a habit of mind that immediately sees what could go wrong in any given situation. There’s always something, and often lots of somethings, that could go wrong.
I know what it’s like to have a habit of mind that zeros in on what’s wrong. I used to walk into my house with eyes that immediately found the spot on the floor, the smudge on the table. I couldn’t feel “at home” until I cleaned the spot, wiped the smudge. But one smudge leads to another, and another…
I wasn’t happy or smiling much at home. It took months of intentional practice to change that habit of mind.
Back to Ed. We’re working on changing his worrisome habit of mind. The other day, I serendipitously changed the way Ed and I typically start our meetings. It had a positive impact and helped Ed jump start his new habits of mind.
From Gratitude to Stinky Dog and How My Work with Ed Changed
Early in the morning, before Ed and I met, I received an email from my cherished and long time colleague, Suzanne. She expressed heartfelt appreciation for my support of a mutual and much beloved colleague. My heart swelled.
One heart swell leads to another.
As I penned my expression of gratitude to Suzanne, my dog, Roxie, was penned in her crate. She got skunked the previous night and was banished to the porch while awaiting her bath.
As I wrote to Suzanne, memories of how I came to know her emerged. I recalled my wonderful mentor, Lisa, who was a catalyst for so many good things that happened over the course of my career. She lit the spark that helped me pursue a career in organizational consulting and executive coaching. Thanks to Lisa, the company sponsored and paid for my master’s degree. She also led me down the path to meeting Suzanne. My gratitude, and my heart, grew bigger and stronger as I wrote.
I was sitting in a pool of love and signed my note to Suzanne with “Love”.
Then I looked up. Skunk smelling Roxie was looking back at me. The transition from love to the stinky task that awaited, occurred in a nano second. It happened too fast for me to lose the swelling in my heart. So I smiled. I smiled at life’s irony and I smiled my way into bathing the stinky dog.
First the ecstasy, then the laundry. ~ Zen Master
Ed Learns to Lead with a Smile
Later that morning I met with Ed and shared the ecstasy to skunky dog story. We smiled. Then Ed talked about something good that happened the day before. I remarked that he was seeing and talking about something positive, in a situation where he previously would have focused on what might go wrong. Ed told me that the smile we shared lightened his mood. In turn, he saw the lighter side of the situation he encountered.
It’s hard to worry while you’re smiling.
Experiment with a Smile
Imagine leading your next staff meeting with a smile.
Do you usually begin this way?
Do you ever begin this way?
What might happen if you lead with a smile?
Try this experiment and find out.
Before your next staff meeting:
- Think of something for which you are grateful.
- A smile of gratitude will happen, if you let it. Let your smile happen.
- Enter the room with that gratitude smile on your face.
- Sit down and lead with a smile, before you speak.
- Smile as you speak your first words.
- Observe what happens next.
Try it 3 times and let me know what you discover.
P.S. I hear you saying, “Sometimes the message isn’t something I should smile about.” You’re right. But right now, your objection is getting in the way of experimenting with something that works much of the time.