I don’t like looking over the edge of a cliff. I don’t even look at others when they stand at the ledge. Makes my stomach flip. So our eight day white water rafting trip in the Grand Canyon was not only beautiful and challenging. It was downright (punny) terrifying at times, but it is where I learned great lessons about leading fear and that donkeys can be smarter than humans. First, the donkeys.
Donkey vs. Human
Before descending the 9.5 mile Bright Angel trail to board the rafts, our guides gave us the following instruction. “The trail gets extremely narrow in some places. If you encounter a donkey move to the outside of the path because the donkey won’t.” Well I’ll be damned. If the donkey, sometimes referred to as an ass and not known to be the world’s brightest animal, won’t walk on the edge of the trail, why on earth would I? Thankfully it was at a wide point of the trail when the donkey and I did cross paths or both stubborn animals might still be there today.
Leading Fear
Confession. There were times when the path was so narrow and the view of the canyon floor such a long way down that I crawled on my hands and knees. Having multiple points of contact with solid ground gave the false perception of safety, but pretending really does help sometimes. Remember the tune from The King and I? “Whenever I feel afraid / I hold my head erect / And whistle a happy tune / So no one will suspect / I’m afraid./ The result of this deception / Is very strange to tell/ For when I fool the people I fear/ I fool myself as well.” I digress – still afraid. Avoiding the next part – The Ledge.
Each day we broke from rafting and hiked a side cany
The silence and beauty profound / A prayer to the universe.
One hike involved crossing a ledge so narrow that we had to side step with our faces smack up against the canyon wall. No surprise that by the time I began to traverse the ledge the group was out of sight. Slowly, I inched along step by careful step. I was about 1/3 of the way across AND THEN I LOOKED. AND THEN I FROZE. Right there on the ledge, nose to the wall, I was stuck in fear. I could not move back. I could not move forward. It may have been seconds or minutes but it seemed like hours. Then She arrived. My hero. My savior. A gentle, strong and solid voice from deep within. “There is no courage without fear. Fear is your friend. She is a voice of warning, but she cannot lead the way. Get in front. Take her by the hand. Guide her across the ledge. She trusts you. She will follow you.” Slowly and steadily my legs began to move.
I am eternally grateful for that ledge and the lessons learned there.
Finding Courage
To have courage is to face fear
and
to move forward.
To lead fear speak gently
Be a solid presence
Guide it to the ledge where courage awaits
This just in from Fred Cuellar, a diamond of a guy.
“U Cant Reason With Fear; U Can Only Comfort It.”