Making tough leadership decisions is a lot easier if you allow the discomfort to inform your decision. But we’re conditioned to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, so we rapidly shift to the logical side of our brains. Thinking doesn’t help so we grow more frustrated and uncomfortable.
The ultimate guide to making tough leadership decisions helps you use your discomfort to find answers.
What defines tough leadership decisions?
You’re in the throes of a tough decision if you find yourself:
- Reviewing the same thoughts repetitively and getting nowhere (obsessive thinking)
- Getting tense or anxious when you think about your options
- Feeling stuck
- Thinking about the problem when you don’t want to (intrusive thoughts)
- Flip flopping
Examples of tough leadership decisions clients have resolved using the ultimate guide:
- A senior executive accepts a promotion that involves moving her family across the country. But she’s having 2nd 3rd and 4th thoughts along with symptoms 1 – 5.
- A board president is the deciding vote on a new executive director. He wants to say yes, but is struggling to get there. He has symptoms 1, 3 and 4.
How to Use the Struggle
Self Awareness, Self Reflection
Step 1: Look in the mirror and bring a tough decision to mind.
Step 2. Speak the following sentence out loud several times.
I’m saying yes to__________________
Complete the sentence by affirming what saying yes means. For example, I’m saying yes to this new role and moving my family across the country.
Step 3: While talking, observe your facial expression. Scan your body. Notice your posture and body language. What do you sense, hear and see? What message are these signals asking you to pay attention to?
Step 4. Notice your thoughts.
Step 5. Write about what came up during steps 3 & 4.
Repeat steps 1 – 5 using the opposing decision.
I’m saying no to this promotion. My family is staying put, for now.
Read and reflect on what you wrote.
Obstacles
As you notice your thoughts, body sensations and emotions you might discover common obstacles that interfere with decision making.
- Other people’s perspectives, advice and judgments
- This is a great opportunity and you’d be crazy not to take it.
- You’ll regret it later.
- Worries and What ifs
- What if my family hates living there?
- What if I never have another opportunity like this?
- What if we don’t find anyone else as qualified as this candidate?
Other People
Tim has to decide whether to accept a new role with a new company. He’s well respected where he is now and will have opportunities for growth if he stays. Too many people are offering their advice and opinions. Tim needs to get centered.
I ask Tim to visualize himself in his favorite quiet peaceful place. Then invite only those advisors who have his best interests at heart to join him. He tells them what’s most important to him.
- Spending quality time with family
- Having a positive impact on people, culture and business results
Then he asks for their words of wisdom along with a gift to serve as a reminder. They all recognize the new opportunity allows Tim to do what’s most important. When the visualization ends, Tim begins to speak as if he’s already in the new role. Decision made.
Worries and What Ifs
Unknowns lead to worries, doubts, fears and what ifs. None of them are actually happening. When they show up:
- Notice
- Name
- Worry
- Watch the worry cloud pass
- When worry returns, notice name and let it pass again
What if I never have another opportunity like this again? You won’t. You’ll have others. Do a quick review of all the opportunities you’ve had and taken so far. It’s a pretty good life, isn’t it?
Yes or No
After clearing any obstacles, you should feel a shift when stating your yes or no decision out loud.
Say yes to the statement that brings you the most inner peace.
Alternately, if you can’t get comfortable saying yes, say no.
If you can’t get comfortable saying no, say yes.