The Secret to Getting More Men Advocating for More Women Leaders
In the final 48 hours before the big event, we made a decision that changed everything. That’s how we discovered the secret formula to getting more men advocating for more women leaders. The big event was never intended to be a conversation about men and women, between men and women, about diversity, about inclusion, or about men advocating for more women leaders. Perhaps that’s why it worked.
What We Were Doing Before the Secret Told Itself
The Vice President and I had been planning the big event for several months. It would be an Oprah style live video broadcast featuring brief interviews, followed by Q and A, with two senior executive women, each of whom also serves as board directors. I would play Oprah. Our goal – provide an hour of mentoring for women in this high tech company with mentors who had walked in her shoes and who made it through every layer of the glass ceiling.
This same company had previously sponsored 3Plus International’s Mini-mentoring event. Based on rave reviews and unexpected results, the new VP wanted something similar with one important difference. He wanted the event accessible to women in his company around the globe. So we planned a live web-based video broadcast. The recording would allow women in various times zones to listen on demand, while many would attended online or in-person, in real time.
We invited a small number of men executives – designated sponsors of high potential women. Sponsorships were part of a Women’s Leadership Initiative I had designed and which was being implemented across the company.
Wondering the Secret Out Loud
Forty-eight hours before going live, I wondered out loud to Mr. VP, “Why haven’t we invited all the men managers to attend?” “Do you think we should?” he asked. “Absolutely. Especially given your introductory remarks that your personal objective is to learn what it’s like for women in high tech.”
And so, that’s how we came to invite ALL the men managers. Some had questions for the mentors. “I’m mentoring two women in my organization. What issues should I be sensitive to.” One of the mentors responded, “85% of mentoring is the same for men and women, but there are some differences. Women often feel less confident, less willing to talk about our successes, what we know, and what we’ve achieved. Family and life balance demands are more intense.” I followed up with, “We’ve all been silenced by the pressure of political correctness. Be intentional about creating a candid and open relationship. State your goal of learning more about what it’s like for a woman in high tech so you can help her and other women.”
The men provided feedback. “Fantastic.” “This was awesome.” “I learned a lot.” Mr. VP sent me this note, “This was absolutely outstanding. I think I learned more than anyone. I wasn’t kidding when I said I would pay to hear them speak.” Why? These women were genuine, down to earth, and sharing wisdom based on real life lessons learned. Their tattoos read, we are here to share, boldly, with humor and humility.
My top share-worthy take-aways:
1. It’s not who you know or who knows you, but who knows what you know and what you can do.
2. Think long and hard about the decision to pursue the C-suite. It’s not for everyone. There are trade-offs. I’m on airplanes, a lot, and that part isn’t fun. You have to really want it for the right reasons.
This ends this chapter of an ongoing story of discovering how to get more men advocating for more women leaders.