In the world of work it’s important to show up on the radar screen. According to a study of 2900 employees by a Chicago based search firm lack of self-promotion is an important reason behind the disproportionately low number of women in executive roles. If the right people don’t know how you contribute to the department or the company, you are less likely to be promoted and to be granted important opportunities. Even if you don’t aspire to a senior level position you risk being viewed as expendable if your achievements are not visible in the current cost cutting environment.
The art of self-promotion is a problem for many women who are reluctant to talk about their achievements because they see it as bragging, bold, or aggressive. Recently I explored this topic with Wendy Gelberg, colleague extraordinaire – always willing to share resources and expertise. Wendy is a certified career coach and resume writer and author of The Successful Introvert: How to Enhance Your Job Search and Advance Your Career. She specializes in advising people in the area of self-promotion.
If we go back hundreds of years we see women gathered together tending the home front as the men go off to hunt. No individual woman stands out. Each takes a turn stirring the stew, watching the children, or gathering berries. Everyone contributes. The men too hunt in groups, but each has his own arrow and when it is time to take aim and shoot, each man acts alone. Each can identify where his arrow landed. Men take pride in being the best shot.
Fast forward to the 20th century. Men were out earning a living – building bridges, constructing railroads, making cars. Women tended the home and raised children. Imagine a mother pointing to a child and claiming, “Look what I made.” It just doesn’t sound the same as when Dad points to the bridge and states, “Son, I built that bridge.”
Women have a long history of being in the background maintaining the structure of home and family – the first “group” in which we are members. Women are more inclined to think about the group and the community, whereas men concern themselves with the group, the community and self. Unlike men, women sense that talking about themselves and their accomplishments is unrelated to maintaining group harmony.
But in the 21st century women have to learn how to succeed in the workplace. The rules on this playground include self-promotion as well as group harmony. At the same time it feels unnatural to violate the rules we as women have played by for generations. What to do? Wendy suggests that letting others know what we’ve achieved can help them. This reframes what we are doing from bragging to helping maintain the community. Other people have needs that we can fill. They can benefit from our knowledge, our expertise, what we’ve accomplished and how we did it. For example, Wendy would never tell me that she is becoming an expert on how to use Twitter to help brand and market herself. Instead, she offers to help me and shares her expertise. I return the volley with helpful hints I’m discovering. When I meet someone who is looking for help in this arena, I refer them to Wendy as an expert. She has succeeded in tooting her horn without bragging.
Your manager and her manager need to know what you’re working on and what you’ve achieved. If they don’t know, it’s difficult for them to do their jobs. So consider sending a monthly report or scheduling a regular meeting to let your manager know what you’re doing; what went well (you could even tell her what went extremely well); where you encountered problems; how you resolved them; and where you need her help.
Here are a few tips to ease yourself into talking about your accomplishments and strengths.
1. Reference what others say about you
“I thought you (department manager) would want to hear the feedback we just received from one of customers.”
2. Have a friend or co-worker describe what you do, your achievements and your strengths. Incorporate this into your networking introduction, job interviews, etc. “My co-workers describe me as….”
3. Have someone interview you, asking questions like: “Tell me about some of the projects you’ve been working on?” and “What work-related accomplishments make you proud?”
Then have them introduce you as if to a third person. Listen and take notes. Use these descriptive statements when networking, during a job interview or when talking to your manager. Because these success stories describe the entire set of circumstances and the broad context, as well as your role, they feel less like bragging and more like simply reporting the facts.
There’s a lot of traffic and noise out there in the workplace. To advance your position, avoid collisions or being wiped out you have to toot your horn on occasion.