Two years after the end of our coaching engagement my client Helen and I discussed what would become this post.
Step 1. The Water
Helen is a Director at a major bio-medical company and designated successor to the current Executive Vice-president of HR. To prepare for that role, Helen and her manager engage me as a coach. When we first meet, Helen states her belief that relationships “should not matter at work. People should simply do their jobs because that is what they are paid to do.” I scratch my head on this one – a high potential HR Director who thinks people are automatons. Privately and confidentially Helen’s manager tells me the CEO does not support Helen as the successor for EVP of HR.
Helen seems rigid in her beliefs. The coaching assignment will be a challenge. Is change possible? Can I find a way into that change – a lever or some bait – so to speak? At this time, I have no idea what it will be.
Step 2. The Fish
On her 360 assessment, Helen scores well in achievement related areas but falls short in relationship building competencies. In my head I hear Helen saying, “So what?” After all, relationships should not matter.
Step 3. The Hook
The first challenge – find a hook. A wise professor, easy on the eye as well, told us when administering psychological tests, “First create an alliance with the patient by identifying what’s in it for him. What does he want to know and how can the test results provide answers? This ensures the patient will put forward his best effort, which is what you want to see.”
What does Helen need to do better, faster, easier? “Lead change more effectively,” she answers. Bingo. She knows she has to get people to buy into change – ergo relationships.
Step 4. The Bait
“Would you be willing to experiment for two months with some different behaviors based on the hypothesis that relationships really do matter at work. If the experiment don’t work or you’re not comfortable you go back to the way you were doing things before.”
Helen: “I can’t afford to take the time away from the work. How will everything get done?”
We figure out what tasks she can delegate, but she is still worried. We shorten the experiment to one month. (Remove the obstacles.)
“Fine, but I still think relationships should not play a role at work.”
“That’s okay. I’m not asking you to change what you think, just to experiment. In fact, why would you change? You’ve been successful, and now you’re in line to become the head of HR. You current beliefs have served you well. (Support the resistance.)
Helen identifies 4 actions.
- Spend 1:1 time with each staff member listening to what’s on their minds and help in whatever ways I can.
- Take one direct report to lunch each week.
- When someone does an excellent job or goes above and beyond leave them a sticky note and a small inexpensive gift. The note will say thank you and identify the specifics of what they did and how it helped her or the department.
- Host an all staff lunch.
Step 5. The Catch
One month later Helen reports, “Things are better. It’s easier to get people to do things, especially if it involves change. But this doesn’t come naturally to me, not who I am. I really have to focus and put time and effort into it. It’s hard.”
Step 6. Release or Keep?
“So do you want to stop?”
“No. Things are better. My job is actually a little easier.”
The Trophy
A year later Helen sends me an email. It features a photo of her standing between the CEO and the Chief Medical Officer. Helen beams as they award her the trophy for “Manager of the Year.” Over our celebration lunch, Helen tells me the award is based on employee nominations that are reviewed and voted by the executive committee.
Three months later I get the following email from Helen. It includes the text of a note she received from one of her direct reports.
Hi Anne,
I just wanted to share what a long way I have come 🙂
I think getting this e-mail was better then getting the award. I cried…
“I have to say that in all my working years, I have never worked with a manager so efficient, talented, knowledgeable as you are.
I have not seen a manager take such pride and initiative in communicating with her staff as you do. We are so lucky to have you as our manager on our team.
Jack Davis made an announcement at 7:30am and a conference was conducted by you at 8:30 am. So Impressive.
Your thorough explanations and your ways of explaining things are so clear and understandable.
You have a natural gift of management style and you should be so proud of yourself as we all are. You are always looking out for your staff and I am so proud of being on your team.”
The Debrief
Helen claims that identifying concrete steps was critical for her. The sticky notes and prizes have morphed into a token system, and her employees covet the tokens. On leaving the department for a promotion, one of them recently lamented the loss of tokens and prizes as one of the things they will miss most. A final quote from Helen.
“When we first started working together I couldn’t imagine how I would find the time to do my job AND invest in relationships. Now I can’t imagine how I could possibly do my job WITHOUT investing in relationships. It’s who I am and I get back twice as much as what I give.”