Why I Advocate for Women
I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t an advocate for women leaders and encouraging traditionally feminine leadership attributes. This may be related to my tendency towards styles that favor the feminine over the masculine as indicated by every personality assessment I’ve taken, from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to the Predictive Index to the Enneagram to the FIRO-B. I focus on people before tasks, values-based decisions before decisions based on logic, “heart” before “head” or “gut,” and belonging before dominance.
Because I’m Gay, Grew Up in Japan, and Wired That Way
Some might think that as a gay man I’m naturally more in touch with my “feminine side” than heterosexual men. I don’t necessarily disagree, but I think it’s just as likely that spending five years of my childhood in Japan had a profound impact on my values as they relate to community vs. the individual, and it’s just as likely that I’m just wired this way.
Throughout my career, I’ve been coached (by men and women alike) to adopt a more masculine style. Of course, no one ever used those exact words, but that’s the crux of their argument. And they were (and are) probably right. Inching toward a style that strikes a better balance between masculine and feminine might very well be valuable to me, as it would be for anyone else. At the same time, I am what I am. You are who you are, he is who he is, and she is who she is. If organizations are to reap the maximum benefits of both leadership styles, the best and easiest way to do that is to value both, encourage both, and promote both – so that those who typify both are present when important decisions are being made, and neither group sacrifices their authenticity.
Because There Are No Organizations Where Sexism Does Not Exist
Throughout my career, I’ve encountered organizations that claim there is no sexism in their culture. As proof, they usually offer up one or two out of hundreds who have risen to senior leadership. If these women can do it, they reason, there’s absolutely no reason why others can’t. I have met these women. Without fail they are textbook examples of masculine leadership styles: focus on task, logical decision-making, unafraid to ruffle feathers in order to make their case. In most cases, the women also made a conscious decision not to have children, which left them unencumbered by work-life considerations that most women (and an increasing number of men) in today’s workforce are focused on. These organizations were not only rife with sexism, and treating the vast majority of their female employees very poorly, they were missing out on what half the population had to offer. Women and men with more traditionally feminine leadership styles were unseen and unheard in these organizations, and the decisions made by the senior leadership teams were made quickly and without a lot of conflict – but they were the same decisions that any one of those senior leaders could have made on their own. Which begs the question: why have a team, when everyone at the table is the same?
In addition to being a major mensch, Eric Peterson is also Manager, Diversity & Inclusion, Society for Human Resource Management.