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ON LEADING AND BE-ING HUMAN

Winning Leaders Build Relationships First – 7 Relationship Building Questions to Get You Started

Coach Mike believes winning leaders build relationships first. This approach has taken his team from one of the worst to one of the best in the league. Learn why and how he builds trusting relationships first.

Milwaukee Bucks’ head coach, Mike Budenholzer, believes winning leaders build relationships first. So that’s what he did when he began coaching the Bucks in 2019.  Is he right? To find out, let’s take a look at what’s happened since.

That first season, the Bucks went from one of the worst defensive teams in the NBA to one of the best. They made it to the Eastern Conference playoffs, losing to the ultimate champions by only six points in the final game. That same year, Budenholzer’s peers in the National Basketball Coaches Association named him Coach of the Year.

That was 2019. Not a bad first year. Was it beginner’s luck?

Apparently not. In 2020 the Buck’s are on track to beat the previous season’s 60-wins. With half the regular season complete, the team’s record is 35/41, putting the Buck’s on pace for 70-wins this season. Only two team’s in the leagues history have topped that number.

According to one sports journalist,

This Bucks team is really, really, outstandingly, mystifyingly, historically good. They will be the favorites to win the Eastern Conference, if not the whole damn thing.

Coach Mike is onto something. Winning leaders build relationships first. 

Winning leaders build relationships
Winning leaders build relationships

This is especially important for leaders who are new to their teams. 

Let’s take a look at why coach Mike’s approach works and how you can get started.

Why Winning Leaders Build Relationships First

Leaders can’t win without players and players won’t win without leaders. Relationships make their shared victories possible. The leader’s role is to know how to build good relationships and take the lead in doing so. As you develop relationships, you’re also:

  1. Showing you care
  2. Building trust
  3. Earning the privilege of being someone’s leader by learning how to bring out the best in them

Why are these outcomes important? People need to trust the leader will help them get somewhere they want to go. The essence of trust is demonstrating you care and have the other person’s’ best interest in heart and mind. Giving people the gift of your time and attention is a great way to show you care. 

7 Relationship Building Questions 

First, share what you want. Then tell them why.  

“I want to build and sustain a winning team.”

Ask what they want. If it’s being part of a winning team, you’re aligned.

Tell them why developing a good relationship is crucial for achieving your shared goal. You  need to:

  • Learn how to bring out the best in them
  • Build mutual trust so they’ll allow you to do so
  • Earn the privilege of leading and coaching them

Get to know the whole person, not just the player or employee. 

Seven questions to get you started
  1. Where do you come from?
    • Give this one time, because they’re likely to share some important stories about what’s shaped them.
  2. Tell me a story that shows
    • What makes you tick
    • Your best self, or
    • Something important about you and to you.
  3. Who’s important to you?
  4. What’s important to you?
  5. What are you long term life goals?
  6. What are your short term goals? How will they help you with your life goals?
  7. Tell me about a time when someone helped you improve your game or grow in some other way

Ask. Listen. Pay attention.

 

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Winning Leaders Build Relationships First - 7 Relationship Building Questions to Get You Started